Going Home Tomorrow (Sunday)

The cardiac doctor with the turban and beard said that I was good to go home on Sunday.

His assistant who came to check my incision (nice job with no ragged edges - Thank You! Dr. Pfeffer!) told me that I would be discharged about 1:00PM after all the paperwork, instructions, and medications are done.

I was told by one of the nurses that the two wires connecting my heart to a temporary pacemaker would be removed on tne day I go home. ("Hold your breath!" and YANK! as there's only a couple of stitches used.)

They try not to keep their patients too many days because they don't want the patient to get sick in the hospital.

They say that I did good.

Tuesday: Got the aortic valve removed and replaced, and two(?) bypass grafts. Went to sleep 7AM and was remember being awake at 7PM, although I'm told that I was in and out earlier Tuesday.

Wedneday: breathing tube removed and able to "talk". Able to "sit" uprightin a chair for total of seven hours (four hours in intensive care, three in intermediate care after chest tubed were taken out - "Hold your breath" YANK!). Moved from 3rd floor intensive care unit room (no bathroom with toilet) to 5th floor intermediate care unit room (got a bathriim with shower and toilet.)

Thursday: Walked up and down the hallway three times; passed on walking Wednesday as I had already seven hours of "sitting".

Friday: Big day for visitors - Bill, Gordon, Donna, Rick, Mom, Lily, Diana, Elizabeth,And Virginia. Smerke called on the phone.

There's cable television that we don't have at home.. Watched the Discovery Channel, National Geographic Channel, AMC, CNN, and the Kaiser educational video on coumadin (polite word for warfarin which is known as a rat poison.) which I will now be taking to prevent blood clots.

Movies and programs included bits and pieces of Alien 2 and Alien 3, The Fugitive, Terminator 2 (I nap in between the bits and pieces that I watch.)

What was really good was "The Night of the Living Dead" where the live people did not refer to the living dead as "Zombies," The final resolution of the zombie problem was the phone call to the U.S. Army phone number stencilled on the storage container containing the original living dead (Secret Project of the U.S. Army) that was mis-delivered to a body parts shop in Louisville, Kentucky.

The U.S. Army simply launched a low-yield tactical nuclear shell that resulted in 4,000 killls over a twenty-square mile area.

Clean and efficient!

Sent from my Peek

Today's Wedneday

Yesterday was the DAY.

Fell asleep before 7:00AM (Teresa gave me a couple pills to "relax" in addition to acid-gas reflux(?) pill plus another of something. Diana says she talked to me as I was falling asleep, AND I don't remember talking to her.

Means that I don't remember ANYTHING between 7 in the morning to 7 Tuesday night when I know I woke up and knew that I did NOT DIE. Good Stuff! People are praying for me from the East Coast to the West Coast and who knows from elsewhere.

I know that I did not die for real becuse the book did not fall out of Norine's bookcase.

I don't remember:

- having IV put into right wrist and left neck .but do know that the two were removed by Maria.

- a tube put my pee-pee to collect my pee but know that Vicky pulled it out after telling me, "take a deep breath!" It hurt!. It also hurts when I pee.

- anything about the operation itself - the evidence I have is pain in chest that hurts when I breath and cough, two tubes coming out of my chest draining bloody fluid and gas, and a BIG bandage on my right leg where Vicky says they took a vein for bypass graft.

I think I had the operation.

I was moved from the ICU to "intermediate" care room because I am doing "well." I feel like I got hit by a bus, hurting all over, can't breathe or cough without pain and discomfort.

I am "doing well" because I can talk and sat upright in a real chair for several hours, as well as not asking for pain meds beyond what give me without asking.

Tomorrow they say that they are going to make me WALK with all these tubes wires hanging off me.

I am in Room 5781 with phone number 323-783-5781, visiting hours 8AM to 8PM with age limit and no colds/influenza.

Sent from my Peek

(Yesterday was) the DAY

Written Tuesday 1/26, ~5:30 AM.

Today is the DAY.

Nothing by mouth after midnight – no food, water, or meds –nothing.

Woke up at 4:00AM.

Took a shower with the scrub soap as a pre-operation preparation.

Lily and Diana brought me to Kaiser to check-in at 5:20 and will stand by until I come out of surgery, approximately 1:00 – 1:30PM.

I will be put "asleep" at 7:00AM, and won't wake up fully until Wednesday, being in and out of it (consciousness) today (Tuesday) after coming out of surgery.

This blog entry is being emailed for me by Diana, who also writes:

He has survived surgery and is in ICU. Miraculously, he is also sitting up. The breathing tube has been removed from his throat, too, so his recovery is going very well!
--
Diana M. Jue, MIT '11
MCP, Department of Urban Studies and Planning
International Development Group
dmjue@mit.edu
(626) 616-9238

One More Day

Tomorrow morning will be IT - open heart surgery to replace an aortic valve and double/triple bypass.

I have been assured that I will "go to sleep" and "wake up" after its all done with no memory of the surgery. Might be better to have no memory of what happens, and not know what the surgeons actually say about the patient.

Had blood (four vials) and urine tested, chest x-rays (back and side), filled out paperwork for admission - just need to sign in at 5:15A.M. tomorrow morning.

I will be made to sleep at 7:00A.M., and should be done by 1:00P.M. or 1:30P.M. Then I will be drifting in and out of consciousness the rest of the day and fully awake Wednesday.

Probably will be in Intensive Care for one or two days, followed by intermediate care for five to eight days, and then home for three to six weeks of recovery.

Talked with the anesthesiologist who answered questions.

Daughter Diana will send out an email after I come out of surgery.

Two More Days

In two days I will have heart surgery for aortic valve replacement and double/triple bypass.

While I have no problems with dying (everybody dies, see "Memento Mori") what has me concerned is the uncertainty involved - statistically this procedure has 85% survival rate.

That is, if I were to have this procedure done 100 times I would die 15 times "on average".

(This means statistically if an increasingly large number of batches of 100 procedures were to be done, the average number of times of dying in 100 procedures would converge to 15 as the number of batches gets larger.)

On the other hand, there's the certainty of being dead in two years if I do not have the procedure done - it's a no-brainer as far as making the decision to have or not-have the surgery.

After surviving and recovering from surgery I plan on having my ear pierced as a symbol of surviving a life-threatening situation..

(This comes from the sailor's tradition of ear-piercing if he were to survive a shipwreck, along with other things such as crossing the equator for the first time, or to ensure a Christian burial if his body washes ashore after a shipwreck.)

Instead of black pearl, I had made an earring with a two carat canary-yellow simulated diamond in a bevel setting (sits lower on the ear lobe), and will probably go to Old Towne Pasadena to a tattoo and body piercing shop that I found on Yelp for the ear piercing.

Diana will have her ears pierced. We will do this in May when she comes back from school.

Sent from my Peek

edited 3:34PM Sunday, January 24, 2010

"Stifling" - Why I Do It?

I previously wrote that I was writing this blog for my health. The full article on "stifling" can be found here.

Like all good husbands in the world, I listen to my wife.

She told me not to COMPLAIN, i.e., say something is the not right more than once. She does not want it repeated.

So I did not say anything when my health was deteriorating - that would be complaining, as my health was deteriorating over more than one day and the complaint would have been "repeated".

I did not say anything about my situation at Northrop Grumman - that would be complaining, as it was a continuous situation over many months and thus "repeated".

I was doing my best not to complain, me being the good husband who listens to his wife who does not want to hear repeated complaints from her husband.

OF COURSE, she tells me that I am STUPID because I did not do what employees at the Bank of America do in situations that they do not like - go on "disability" and still be paid for not working because of poor health and bad work conditions.

I am not of the high moral fiber as that of the typical Bank of America employee. Ken Lewis is an excellent example of a Bank of America employee.

The woman does NOT want to hear me complain.

As I am not a "manly man", I am prone to complaining - pissing and moaning like a woman, I guess.

My wife Lily tells me that I am "too sensitive", and that I should be more like her friend's husband, Addison (cute name).

When Susan tells Addison that he is "totally worthless", Addison (it is reported), will just "laugh it off" like a manly man.

"Ha! Ha! Hah! What, Woman?! You call me TOTALLY WORTHLESS?! Ha! Ha! Hah!"

I, Michael Jue, am not a "manly man" as Addison, and am NOT able to "laugh it off" as he does.

My COMPLAINT was that I didn't like being told that I was "totally worthless" by my wife. I just don't like it. I am too "sensitive".

Of course, she is TOTALLY JUSTIFIED, as I do not give her enough money, and what little money I give her, it is not given fast enough. Thus, I am "totally worthless" to my wife, Lily.

Another time, I was complaining that the air conditioning was not turned high enough in the car while travelling to San Francisco in the San Joaquin valley heat one summer. As the girls and she get cold more easily than I get hot, her solution to my complaint was a single word, "SUFFER!"

I have learned not to complain.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Not All Former Military Pilots Are the Same

Previously I had written about the former military folks at Northrop Grumman.

Nowadays they are hired because they "walk the walk" and "talk the talk" of our military customers and Northrop Grumman management needs and wants to have some kind of rapport with the customer.

Some of these pilot-types are really smart guys. Corey Moore, who is now Sector Vice President, Advanced Concepts and Integrated Solutions at Northrop Grumman Corporate Headquarters is an example. He was in the Systems Analysis group in the 1980's. As a F-18 pilot he wanted to be home more with his family.

Corey Moore even had some exposure to the THUNDER campaign model. He was SO SMART that he realized that didn't want to do the type of analysis that we were trying to do. He left Systems Analysis and went on to bigger and better things. Now he gets to move to Virginia.

John Haberbush is another smart guy. He's was also a F-18 pilot working in Systems Analysis at the same time as Corey Moore. John also had some experience with the THUNDER campaign model, and came up with two very smart sayings about analysis:

"If it looks easy, it's hard to do."

"If it looks hard, it's impossible to do."

John Haberbush was smart enough to get a job as an airline pilot and left Northrop Grumman.

There are other pilot-types at Northrop Grumman who were good at being pilots but perhaps not too good at anything else but "walking the walk" and "talking the talk" with the customer and building Powerpoint charts for the customer to look at.

For example, there is currently a "Program Manager" at Northrop Grumman (name not disclosed) who came to Northrop Grumman as a retired USAF colonel. He started out in Systems Analysis years ago. He sounded good, and looked good. Somewhat smart guy who was working on a fuel allocation problem and was able to boil it down to a mathematical description having six variables whose relationships were defined by five equations, all of which he was able to figure out. Smart guy!

Good start, but he was totally confused as to why he could not come up with a "unique" solution to his fuel allocation problem. Most mathematicians will tell you that to solve for an unique solution for six variables, you need to have six equations - he had only five equations.

He would NOT believe that six equations were needed instead of the five equations that he had, and would NOT believe the concept of there being an INFINITE family of solutions (values for the six variables) that would satisfy the five equations.

Conrad Batchelder in the next cubicle overhead the discussion and came over with his Hewlett Packard HP-15C calculator and SHOWED him two sets of values for the six variables that satisfied the five equations.

The retired USAF colonel left the cubicle shaking his head, staring at the sheet of paper that Conrad had prepared for him.

I still don't know if he believed the idea that he needed six equations to get an unique solution for the six variables.

Today he is a unnamed "Program Manager" at Northrop Grumman.

No, he is not Thomas Lee Hull.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Got a Date with the Surgeon

Pat from Cardiac Surgery called.

My date for surgery is January 26, and I get to check-in on the 25th.

This will be done at Kaiser Hospital on Sunset Blvd.

Am I the ONLY One? Don't Think So . . .

I came across a couple of web sites that may or may not be of interest to Northrop Grumman employees. What's really interesting is that the comments cover all parts of Northrop Grumman, and not just one sector.

Northrop Grumman management will find nothing interesting because THEY DON'T CARE what the employees think and feel as long as they get what they want from the employees.

The first web site is Jobvent.com. By the name, you would expect to hear from employees who are "venting" about their jobs. Take a look at

Working at Northrop Grumman — Reviews by Employees

Here's a sample: "Northrop is a company moving backwards. Despite some of their technical achievements they treatment of their people is horrific. They burn their people out, and are becoming more and more inflexible..."

The second web site is Indeed.com. They ask the question, "What is the company culture at Northrop Grumman?"

On this forum, we hear both the good and the bad. Some employees are OK with the company culture, others are not OK.

Here are samples:

"My team has a lot of fun during the day, but we also get work done. We plan lunches and things, and no one views it as a lack of things to do. My boss is great, very professional, but also jokes around with us."

"It's a great place to work if you're single, don't have a family, and don't care if you have a life. If you value family, health, personal time, and/or community involvement I would suggest looking elsewhere."

See What's the company culture at Northrop Grumman?


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

As Good as It's Going to Get

"As good as it's going to get."

That's what the kidney doctor basically said - my test results (ELEVEN vials of blood were taken out of my arm on Tuesday!) showed that the numbers that they were looking to go up - hemoglobin and protein levelss - have gone up and are in their respective "normal" range.

Many of the other numbers are within the desired range for dialysis patient.

There were some adjustments to meds to handle the numbers that were not within normal range. A couple of new prescriptions were written and picked up at the pharmacy.

It's a "GO" for heart surgery. We will call the cardiology group on Monday to get things going.

I now understand that we want to have my heart surgery preferably before the end of January before Diana goes back to school so that she can see me come out of surgery successfully.

More on Wes Bush

Two day ago I posted about Northrop Grumman corporate headquarters moving to the "Virginia area". Northrop Grumman management is so smart that I don't understand how or why management makes the decisions that it makes.

Looks like Wes Bush wants to change the culture at Northrop Grumman. The "dead weight" (deadwood and dog meat? this is a memorable quotation from a Electronics Division Vice-President many years ago regarding "reduction of the work force") executives at the higher levels will not be asked to move with the rest of the corporate headquarters to the "Virginia area".

See this L.A. Times article New Northrop Grumman CEO Wesley Bush shows why he got the job.

Kent Kresa and Ron Sugar are described as sentimental for wanting the corporate headquarters in Southern California because of their being homeboys. Wes Bush, on the other hand, has no such sentiments and would move the corporate headquarters to Nome, Alaska if his key customers were the Eskimos.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Not Everybody at Northrop Grumman Knows This

I was talking to somebody at Northrop Grumman this morning and mentioned that I saw the article in the L.A. Times regarding Northrop Grumman's headquarters moving to the "Virginia area". He had not heard about this news at all, but said that he was pretty busy at work this morning.

Wesley Bush made this move announcement on his first day on the job as chief operating officer and President, taking over for Ron Sugar effective January 1, 2010. The L.A. Times had this quotation:

"This is an important move for the company, and it's one that we believe will improve the effectiveness in serving the nation and our customers," Bush said in his first public statement as the company's chief executive. "The proximity to Washington enables us to be a more integrated part of the federal process."

However, I also notice that Wes Bush is a native of West Virginia, and went to school in Massachusetts for both his Bachelor and Master degrees in electrical engineering from MIT. Smart guy. He likes the East Coast.

Wes Bush doesn't waste any time.

Ron Sugar, on the other hand, was born in Hawthorne, and went to school at UCLA. Local boy. Ron Sugar didn't want to move the headquarters to the "Virginia area"; he thought it was fine where it was in Century City.

Wes Bush, the East Coast boy, thought that Northrop Grumman would improve its "effectiveness" if its headquarters were to be physically closer to the federal process in Washington.

Hasn't he heard of the telephone, and airplanes? Distances are not what they used to be when people had to walk for days in order to visit and communicate with other people.

Does this mean that Northrop Grumman has previously been "ineffective" in serving its customers because of the geographic distance between Los Angeles and Washington?

Ron Sugar didn't seem to have a problem with the physical distance between Century City and Washington, but of course, he's a local boy.

Wes Bus does have a problem with the physical distance, but of course, he's from the East Coast and has the degrees from MIT.

They are moving only the corporate headquarters (that's where Wes Bush goes to work).

Evidently the physical proximity of the corporate headquarter will increase Northrop Grumman "effectivess" to its customers. The other parts of the company that CREATES the products for the customers evidently don't need to be in close proximity to the customer and federal process. The research, development, and manufacturing parts of the companyare going to stay in Southern California where it will be more effective after the corporate headquarters moves to be physically closer to Washington and the federal process.

I don't understand.

As I have told many fellow employees at Northrop Grumman, manaagement is VERY VERY SMART, and I am not smart enough to understand the hows and whys of Northrop Grumman management decision making process. This is just another example of Northrop Grumman management being smarter than I am.

I thought that it was because Wes Bush is an East Coast kind of guy, and just wants to go back home where he grew up. Shows how much I know.

Here are some links:

Northrop Grumman Corp. headquarters moving to Washington, D.C., area (L.A. Times, Sunday, January 4, 2010)

Northrop Grumman moving headquarters from L.A. to Washington, D.C., area (L.A. Times, Monday, January 5, 2010)

Northrop Grumman to keep many jobs in California

Northrop move worsens Southern California's Fortune-500 brain drain


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Happy New Year!

This is the beginning of a new year.

The only resolution I made this year is to survive the year in relatively good health.

We all hope for the best (at least better than last year). However, we need to prepare for the worse (my new email signature includes the quotation from Sun Tzu , "To rely on rustics and not prepare is the greatest of crimes; to be prepared beforehand for any contingency is the greatest of virtues.")

What normally happens though, is that things comes out somewhere in between the two extremes - thus by preparing for the worst and hoping for the best we are both delighted and disappointed. This is OK.

I have these things to look forward to this year:

1) Continued improvement to my health, including increase in hemoglobin count, and protein levels, and continued good results with dialysis.

2) Elizabeth's Birthday Party later this month, and Diana leaving to go back to school after a nice visit home.

3) Given my improved health, we are planning to have to have heart surgery after Elizabeth's birthday and Diana's departure, and not before.

4) Survive this surgery without dying.

5) Given my surviving this surgery (remove and replace aortic valve with pig valve, handle two partially blocked arteries), recover from the heart surgery which take a nominal three to six weeks.

4) Rehabilitation and regaining some semblance of a "normal" life in relatively good health.

These things might not seem like much to the ordinary person, but are a big deal to me.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

December 30, 2009 Health Update

The plan is for my surgery to be done in the latter part of January, after Elizabeth's birthday party, and after Diana's going back to school.

By then, the doctors expect my hemoglobin count to be at or above "normal" (it was slightly below normal when last tested), and my protein level (measured as blood albumin) to be "normal". My procrit (hormone that tells my bone marrow to make hemoglobin) dosage was increased from 4500 units twice a week to 5500 units twice a week, and I am continuing the protein supplement (30 grams of protein = 5 scoops of Beneprotein in a fruit smoothie) every night.

The surgery is to remove and replace the aortic valve in my heart with a pig valve. While they have my chest open and heart stopped, they will also handle a couple of partially blocked arteries while they are in there (kind of like your mechanic doing the main bearings on your car engine at the same time as the valve job since the engine is torn down anyways).

Because of the difficulty of opening up and working with a beating heart, the surgical team will necessarily stop my heart in order to do the work on it. This will be done through the miracle of Cardiopulmonary Bypass (CPB).

NOTICE that I did not write that the surgical team will kill me dead. They are only going to make my heart stop beating and me stop breathing.

The question, then, is this: since I am not breathing and have no beating heart, will I be "dead"?

I had this discussion with several people - will I remember being "dead"? At our family Christmas Eve dinner I told my niece, Noreen, that when I am "dead" that I would communicate with her. We agreed that I would cause one of her books ("The Lovely Bones") to fall out of her book shelf.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

War-fighters and peace-time pilots don't like Jane

Recently I wrote about the war-fighters and peace-time pilots at Northrop Grumman.

What I noticed was that these guys have a certain antipathy towards Jane Fonda.

What P*SSES these guys off are these photos from 1972 taken of Jane Fonda during her visit to North Vietnam. These guys know what it is to be shot at, they know guys who were shot down and killed, who were shot down and spent time in POW camp. They don't like the idea of Jane Fonda being friendly to those who would do pilots harm.

There has been much written about Jane Fonda on the internet - see what snopes.com has to say about Jane Fonda. Snopes.com actually investigated who said what.

In 1999, when Barbara Walters honored Jane Fonda as one of the '100 Women of the Century,' there was a big fuss.

Friends and relatives of POWs who had spent time as guests of the North Vietnamese thought that Jane Fonda was unworthy of such an honor, and that people should be reminded, because in their words, "This is for all the kids born in the 70's who do not remember, and didn't have to bear the burden that our fathers, mothers and older brothers and sisters had to bear."

They started up that email that is still being circulated today with the subject line "Never Forgive a Traitor". Read what people had to say.

The POW Network has a lot to say about Jane Fonda, not much of which is flattering.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Warfighters at Northrop

First, I will state that I have only admiration and gratitude for those in our military, past and present. The following might seem trite - I believe it to be very true: "We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm." Our military is trained by our government to kill people and break things on our behalf using the very best technology that a lowest-bid contractor can provide.

When I started working at Northrop Aircraft Company in 1978, there were a number of warfighters in the Systems Analysis Group.

At that time, Northrop had in its employ a number of pilots from World War II, Korean War and Viet Nam War to form the Operational Analysis group. The idea was to have a bunch of guys who actually were in war time situations and knew exactly how air commanders would deploy aircraft and pilots in battle. This made the "what if" analysis more plausible, and the analysis would stand up to the scrutiny of those who were veterans of those wars.

This is in contrast to what has been done recently, where the analysis is done with some computer model that the war-fighters would not understand, and the person running the model is some twenty-two year college graduate who never seen the inside of a war plane. Sometimes we will have the situation where the young analyst gets to decide how the war is to be fought, how many and what aircraft are to be deployed, etc. without consultation with a war-fighter types who would otherwise offer a "sanity check".

I talked to these war-fighters as the new young guy with the idea of learning what it was like to have fought in a war where people were trying to kill you while you were trying to kill them, or doing your best to avoid being killed.

What I remember the most about the war-fighters was how I was impressed with the sense of humility of the typical war-fighter. I got that they knew that better men than they had died and not survived the war. Sometimes it was a matter of luck that determines if one lived or died. There was no rhyme or reason as to who died and who lived. There were also accidents that would kill them just as dead.

Then there are the peace-time Air Force and Navy pilots who have been hired by Northrop Grumman because they can "walk the walk" and "talk the talk" when they are dealing to the Air Force or Navy customer. The peace-time pilots have only fired weapons as part of training and proficiency exercises, and not to intentionally kill. There's only the possibility that they have accidentally killed somebody.

The life-or-death situations these peace-time pilots face usually involve somebody being stupid, careless, or negligent - these things will get a pilot killed just as dead. In my opinion, this is different than the situation where the enemy is trying to kill you while you are trying to kill them, or trying your best to avoid being killed.

However, I don't always get that sense of humility that I had found in the war-fighter in these peace-time pilots. This is not a knock on the peace-time pilots, it is what it is.

In either case, Northrop Aircraft Company and later Northrop Grumman Corporation has had its war-fighters and peace-time pilots.

What they all have in common is their willingness to risk life and limb in the performance of their work during their service with the government. We all should be thankful to them for this.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

I have no sense of humor?

This is one of my most vivid memories of my employment at Northrop Grumman.

It happened when we were in Pico Rivera in Building 216. Systems Analysis was part of the Advanced Technology and Development Center (ATDC).

We were out in the large unclassified bay where various groups had their cubicles. Along one wall was the managers' offices, as they had a real office with a door that opens and closes. Ordinary employees enjoy the open to the world airiness of two-person cubicles with partitions that came up to nose-level on many people. Not too much privacy ion these cubicles. There were perhaps 60 - 80 people in this bay.

David Rausch was telling a joke with this set-up line, "How do you revitalize the city of Los Angeles?"

David Rausch's punch was, "By dropping an atomic bomb on South Central Los Angeles."

(Laughter???!)

As I do not have a sense of humor, I was clueless why David Rausch thought that this was so funny. I had to ask, "Why is that funny?"

David Rausch was evidently insulted to have somebody ask for an explanation of why his joke is funny.

I went on in the discussion of why his joke was funny. Is it because only Blacks and Latinos live in South Central Los Angeles? Why would THAT make the joke funny?

Is the idea of extra-crisp "crispy critters" what makes this joke so funny? Atomic bomb explosion temperatures reaching 7000 degrees Fahrenheit in 0.1 milliseconds would produce "crispy critters" almost instantly, if they are not close enough to be vaporized.

David Rausch obviously did NOT want to discuss the humor of his joke. He drew himself to his full height (he's well over six-feet tall, and I am just a little Asian guy seated in a chair) and shouted, "Drop it! It's just a joke - drop it!"

At first, I wanted to continued the discussion, so David Rausch again repeated, "Drop it! It's just a joke - drop it!"

By this time, I noticed that the entire bay got real quiet - none of the normal chatter, etc. that one would normally hear.

I got real quiet myself. I was thinking that David Rausch was going to TEAR MY HEAD OFF, or do other GREAT BODILY HARM to me.

I was also noticing that I did not like 1) getting shouted down by a big angry white guy, and 2) being physically intimidated by a big angry white guy standing at his full height towering over me in my seated position - you do not want David Rausch to get angry at you, as Ron Cote advised me, "He's a big guy." I would also add that that David Rausch is a VERY UGLY person when he is angry at you and is shouting you down.

As I am of such a sensitive nature, I let this episode upset me in such a manner that was noticeable to others in our group, so much that somebody reported this to our manager, Randy Yates.

Like any good manager, Randy Yates wanted to head off any potential conflicts between personnel in his group. He called both David Rausch and me into his office for a clear-the-air talk.

David Rausch apologized for losing his temper.

I apologized for not having a sense of humor. Smile-while-you-eat-shit. Go along to get along. Be a "team member".

NOTHING was said about the inappropriateness of this joke in the work environment.

NOTHING was said about the relative value of the lives of our Black and Latino citizens residing in South Central Los Angeles.

Being the type of person that he is, David Rausch pretended that I was the invisible man whenever we were in the same vicinity - he would LOOK RIGHT THROUGH ME as if I did not exist, let alone speak to me.

Of course, whenever he NEEDED something from me, he would speak to me as if he was a normal human being.

Being a survivor ("Smile when you have to eat sh*t." Go along to get along. Be a team player.) I would pretend that I did not notice David Rausch had given me the invisible man treatment, and very polite provide him with whatever he needed.

Mike Petka, who was working at Northrop Grumman at that time, and who is a white guy, thought that while dropping an atomic bomb on South Central Los Angeles might be a good thing, thought that an atomic bomb on Dana Point would not be a good thing.;

The Black people I asked about the humor of this joke did not give me a response. They would just shake their heads for some reason.

Romeo Allen was one Black guy at Northrop Grumman at that time who did not give me an answer, but told me of his encounter with a white Sheriff's Deputy who had an odd sense of humor. The Sheriff's Deputy stuck the MUZZLE of his shotgun into Romeo's mouth, evidently thinking that the potential of blowing a good portion of Romeo's head off into bits of bone, flesh, and brain tissue to be funny.

My youngest daughter who was nine-years old at that time, understood what an atomic bomb was. She did not think that this joke was very funny, and in fact, seemed to be distressed about an atomic bomb being dropped on any part of Los Angeles, as we live in Los Angeles.

My sister-in-law's two brothers, being very polite Chinese guys, at first pretended to laugh at the joke, but agreed that it was not a funny thing at all.

In summary, these white guys got one funny sense of humor that I STILL don't get, and many other people don't get.

I hope that NONE of our Black and Latino Northrop Grumman employees reading this gets the wrong idea about the white guys at Northrop Grumman.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Nightmare for New Employees?

Recently I recounted my nightmare of working at Northrop Grumman and having no desk, chair or phone. It was just a bad dream.

However, it was not just a bad dream for three young men who were hired by the Systems Analysis group at Northrop Grumman a few years ago. They were young guys not long out of school: Justin Smith, Arthur Hutchinson, and Eric Gardenhire.

I am certain that Northrop Grumman management went through a process of some sort in hiring these three guys: certain decisions were decided, budget money budgeted, analysis work anticipated, staffing arrangements arranged etc. prior to their arrival.

What was really interesting then was that the day they came to our group (they all started on the same day) was that they had 1) no desk at which to sit; 2) no chair on which to sit; 3) no phone/phone number of their own to use; and 4) no computer to use.

They had my nightmare.

They had the honor and privilege of floating around, landing at any desk that happened to be vacant that day. Someone would be the recipient of their phone calls, as they did not have their own phone number to give out.

Jason Pfefferkorn and I made it a point to give to each one of them their own pad of paper and two sharpened no. 2 pencils. We did our best to make them feel welcomed.

By the way, not one of these three young men are at Northrop Grumman today.

Perhaps they went somewhere else without the nightmare?


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

My Nightmare Last Night

I had a nightmare last night.

I dreamt that I was working at Northrop Grumman for some reason, and that the group had moved and thus things were in packing boxes and in general disarray.

What was really scary was that in this nightmare I was working with James Lamar. When I asked him about my getting a desk, chair, and phone, he just smirked and did his best to withhold his laughter.

Randy Yates made an appearance. When I asked him about the desk, chair, and phone, I got the same smirk and withholding of laughter.

I remember saying, "Just tell me, 'yes' or 'no' - I will sit in the lobby where there is open space for me to sit". I was not complaining about not having a desk, chair, or phone.

That was one nightmare!



Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

I am writing this blog for my health

Why am I writing about my last two years at Northrop Grumman?

I came across this in one of the health related newsletters that I receive:

"Men who bottle up their anger over unfair treatment at work could be hurting their hearts, a new Swedish study indicates.

Men who consistently failed to express their resentment over conflicts with a fellow worker or supervisor were more than twice as likely to have a heart attack or die of heart disease as those who vented their anger, claims a report in the Nov. 24 online edition of the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.

In fact, ignoring an ongoing work-related conflict was associated with a tripled risk of heart attack or coronary death, the study of almost 2,800 Swedish working men showed."

I am writing this blog for my health - what is left of it!

Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

A Small Story Many Years Ago of William E. Maillard and Craig Bogley

William E. Maillard (long since retired) was a senion analyst in Systems Analysis, a Northrop Grumman lifer who worked his entire life at Northrop, having starting as an intern while still a student. He also was one of the smartest guys I have ever met at Northrop Grumman.

Craig Bogley (also long since retired), on the other hand, was some Northrop mucky-muck's staff guy who had a smug air of self-importance who wanted people to think that he was smarter than he really was.

Mr. Bogley had come to Systems Analysis for some real analysis that required genuine mathematical methods. Mr. Maillard, who had a Master's in Mathematicas from UCLA, actually used real mathematics when doing his analysis and writing his computer programs. He was working with Mr. Bogley on some problem that I don't remember.

What I do remember is that the discussion between Mr. Bogley and Mr. Maillard involved Mr. Maillard explaining a five step process to Mr. Bogley.

Mr. Maillard goes through the first step with Mr. Bogley. There is much nodding of head, and mutterings of "Yes, of course!" on Mr. Bogley's part.

Same thing with the second step step, and the third step of the explanation by Mr. Maillard.

Then it happened. Mr. Bogley had a question. The problem was that the question revealed that Mr. Bogley had no comprehension of step one, let alone steps two and three of the explanation!

The normally VERY PATIENT Mr. Maillard started to show his exasperation with Mr. Bogley, something I very seldom saw in Mr. Maillard. He had been very patient when explaining things to me.

But then, I did not pretend to know something that I did not know.

Stupid people look even more stupid when they pretend to know something that they do not know.

PLEASE NOTE that I did NOT say that Mr. Bogley was stupid.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

End Stage Renal Failure & Disabled Person Parking Placard, CT/CAT Scan

Today we went to the DMV and got my Disable Person Parking Placard.

This will enable whoever I am riding with to park in the blue handicapped space when I display the Disable Person Parking Placard, as I have temporarily given up my car keys. This will save me from having to make the longer walk when a handicapped parking space is available.

I am not driving because of my health situation. Brother Eric is exercising my Scion XB. I have asked him to maintain it at the Toyota garage facility where he works, as well as touching up the dings as they occur.''

My primary care doctor, who is also my nephrologist, filled out the required DMV form for the Disabled Person Parking Placard, classifying me as "permanently disabled" due to "End Stage Renal Failure" (ESRF).

Yesterday we went to Kaiser diagnostic imaging lab in the basement of 1526 N. Edgemont Ave. Got a CT (CAT) scan to look at my aortic root to see how large it is in preparation for my valve job in January.

A "contrast dye" is given to me through an IV in the arm, EKG leads attached to my chest, and then I am run through the big hole in the CT machine where a rotating x-ray tube and x-ray detector take multiple pictures of my insides and a computer creates a very detailed composite 3-D picture of my insides.

The EKG detects when my heart is beating/not beating, as the movement would cause a distortion in the picture. Also, I am instructed to hold my breath to stop any other movement.

I now know that I am allergic to the contrast dye. My tongue and lips got fat. I was given 50 mg Benedryl to counter this allergic reaction. This has been noted in my charts, the next time I will be pre-medicated the day before being given the contrast dye.

At least I did not go into anaphylactic shock after being administered the contrast dye. Extreme case would show within 15 seconds of administration, lesser symptoms of allergic reaction some time afterwards, as in my case of fat lips.

What is the EAP for?

Note: I am preparing a letter for George Haley

The Employee Assistance Program is a valuable 24/7 service that Northrop Grumman offers to its employees "free and confidential" counseling for a number of situations.

I was introduced to the EAP by my manager, James Lamar, after I had received my "First Warning". I had been observed sleeping at my desk by three different individuals. I do not know if it was the symptoms of Congestive Heart Failure (fatigue), my failing kidneys (lethargy and fatigue), or the anemia (easy fatigue, loss of energy) that would cause me to doze off at my desk.

Perhaps its the combination of these three conditions that did me in.

As nobody wants to train older/higher paid employees when they can hire new employees just out of school with needed skills, I am of no use to Northrop Grumman. Since I was a "valued" employee, and because I do not currently have any skills, James Lamar outlined a "Performance Improvement Program" (PIP) so that I could learn something that would be useful to Northrop Grumman. He gave me desired results and schedule within which to learn and do a set of tasks.

I got the EAP card with the phone number and a name to call.

UNFORTUNATELY, I only saw that the situations that EAP dealt with

* Managing anxiety and stress
* Parenting education and support
* Conflicts at work or home
* Depression and emotional issues
* Life events and career transitions
* Alcohol and substance abuse
* Loss and grief counseling
* Childcare and eldercare community resources
* Communicating effectively

did not address the effects of my Congestive Heart Failure, kidney failure, anemia, or lack of job skills.

Unfortunately, I again failed to meet the desired outcome and schedule of the Performance Improvement Program as outlined by my manager, James Lamar.

As a result, I received a "Second Warning" and a revised "Performance Improvement Program" from James Lamar.

I soon realized that having already received a "First Warning" and "Second Warning" in the first four months of 2009, that a "Third Warning" and "Termination of Employment with Loss of Pension and Benefits" would soon follow.

"Termination of Employment with Loss of Pension and Benefits" would not be a good thing, and would have a negative impact on my lifestyle.

I had a epiphany of "FORNICATE this DEFECATION, I don't need to do this DEFECATION anymore! The house is paid for, the youngest daughter is graduating this June!" I called the nice young lady in Human Resources, asking "Would this (the First and Second Warnings) affect my ability to retire?"

After she assured me that it would not, I soon determined that July 1 was the earliest possible date to retire.

James Lamar was happy to see that he would be rid of me when I told him that I decided to retire, as the company could not afford to carry an employee like me any longer because of its financial situation

Conclusion: the EAP was of no use to me. No amount of counseling was going to fix my Congestive Heart Failure, kidney failure, anemia, or lack of job skills.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

No Data, No Model, No Technical Support, No Problem?

Note: I am preparing a letter for George Haley

I did my best to produce the desired results on schedule within budget for Thomas Lee Hull.

My best efforts were not good enough for Thomas Lee Hull.

I cannot do better than my best.

At the risk of sounding like one of those Ungrateful Whiny Cry-Baby Excuse-Making-Why-I-Can't-Do-the-Work Goof-Off Northrop Grumman Employees that management seem to see in their employees, I will attempt offer some possible reasons why I had problems doing the NXX work using the THUNDER campaign model for Thomas Lee Hull in 2008.

In 2007, I was informed that I was the Northrop Grumman "Expert" on the THUNDER Campaign model, despite having only rated myself a "3" or "Competent" on Xref for the THUNDER model, and that I was chosen to work the NXX analysis by Thomas Lee Hull.

I told Thomas Lee Hull that I required three things:
1) a current set of data sets for the the scenario in question;
2) the current street version of the THUNDER model; and
3) technical support for all of the inevitable questions and problems that come up when working with these large models

The problem is that Northrop Grumman's membership in the User Group was terminated by Air Forces Studies and Analysis years previous for some obscure political reason, our User Group fee being refunded on a pro-rated basis. This meant that NO THUNDER data, model distribution, and technical support would be available to our study efforts. Only government agencies that were User Group members, and commercial users with an active contract with a sponsoring government agency that was a member of the User Group had access to the data, model distributions, and technical support.

However we did have:
1) previously acquired THUNDER data for a long-range heavy bomber study;
2) a repaired version of a modification of the THUNDER that was provided to us for an unmanned air vehicle study by a government agency;
3) other THUNDER users at Northrop Grumman.

The NXX study was to look at future U.S.Navy requirements for a particular scenario. Our data, being several years old and created for a long-range heavy bomber study, was seriously lacking in several areas.

One OBVIOUS example of the data deficiency was that the carrier aircraft were not being permitted to fly by the THUNDER mjodel. Being a long-range heavy bomber oriented data set, there were NO air-to-air missiles required by the carrier aircraft that were not used in the long range bomber study. Modifying and adding the three air-to-air missiles to the relevant files was easy.

The other obvious example was that the thousands of targets shown in current intelligence documents were not in our data set.

What was more difficult was determining what other non-obvious deficiencies there were in the data.

Thomas Lee Hull had major heartburn when he told me to reassure him that we had "good data" as he would be briefing this work in front of admirals and did not want to look like a fool. I did not want to lie to his face by telling him that I thought the data was complete and good, BUT told him that I would not say that the data was "good".

Despite reassurances from Thomas Lee Hull that the customer was going to someday provide THUNDER data, Northrop Grumman never received any data.

We never saw the current street version of the THUNDER model.

GOOD NEWS: technical support was finally bought and paid for by Northrop Grumman.

BAD NEWS: Garth Morgan of S3I did not arrive until the second to the last week of 2008 in late December.

We briefed Garth Morgan, S3I's Vice-President and Chief Technology Officer, on the THUNDER work we had done in 2008. Garth Morgan and Wayne Zandbergen had written the code for the THUNDER model back in the 1980's.

Garth Morgan made several observations, including the following two that I consider relevant to my difficulties in producing the desired results on schedule within the budget for Thomas Lee Hull.

1) the long range heavy bomber study data we were trying to use "TOTALLY SUCKS". If Northrop Grumman were to spend large amounts of money, time, and labor, the data could be made such that it "ONLY SUCKS". At least we would then have some understanding of the data and why results "SUCKS".
2) one of the major problems that I could not solve despite much effort by myself and Christopher Vincent who was enrolled to assist me for a few weeks was figuring out why the carrier aircraft carrying a specific weapon against ground targets would "Return Before Target". The THUNDER campaign would report that these carrier aircraft would return to base before attacking its targets.

By the way, Christopher Vincent previously helped write and used regularly the ATCOM model – Advanced Tactical Combat Model. It’s the standard the Army uses for aviation requirements & training and is recognized as an Air Force standard tool as well. Google will give you more info on it. Having experience with a large model using multiple data sets, he agreed with me that I had a very difficult task.

We tried testing all of the possible reasons that would make the carrier aircraft abort its mission with no success.

Garth Morgan laughed and explained that he and Wayne Zandbergen originally wrote the THUNDER campaign model for the Air Force. They programmed THUNDER to make check that the aircraft had appropriate weapons before attacking targets. HOWEVER, the Navy weapon that we specified for the carrier aircraft to deliver against its targets is NOT considered a suitable air-to-ground target by the Air Force.

This weapons test was hard-wired into the code somewhere and not in the data; this was the reason that the carrier aircraft with that particular weapon would "Return Before Target".

IMAGINE my surprise and disappointment on learning this.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Might be a correlation . . .

Note: I am preparing a letter for George Haley

There MIGHT be a correlation between my working with Thomas Lee Hull on the NXX project using the THUNDER campaign model in 2008 and the diagnosis of "congestive heart failure" and the decline of my kidney function. Can this be "stress" related?

The following table is from my Kaiser Permanente test results.

NOTE THE 30% DROP IN KIDNEY FUNCTION BETWEEN MAY 2008 and JUNE 2008 AFTER THOMAS LEE HULL STEPPED UP HIS "REMINDERS" AND ADDITIONAL "ENCOURAGEMENT" TO "CATCH UP" AFTER MY MISSING A WEEK OF WORK BECAUSE OF THE "CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE" IN EARLY MAY.

GLOMERULAR FILTRATION RATE
Date	GFR
12/12/2006	56.00
4/20/2007	56.00
6/15/2007	39.00
7/27/2007	39.00
10/26/2007	37.00
4/11/2008	30.00
5/2/2008	47.00
5/2/2008	47.00
5/12/2008	47.00
6/27/2008	33.00
7/25/2008	33.00
8/2/2008	33.00
8/22/2008	31.00
9/12/2008	31.00
10/2/2008	33.00
10/17/2008	27.00
11/7/2008	28.00
11/21/2008	27.00
12/12/2008	22.00
1/2/2009	21.00
1/13/2009	21.00
1/23/2009	20.00
2/18/2009	21.00
3/6/2009	16.00
3/21/2009	18.00
4/10/2009	16.00
5/26/2009	16.00
6/25/2009	14.00
8/31/2009	10.00
9/22/2009	9.00
10/26/2009	5.00
11/2/2009	5.00

I was keeping all of my doctor's appointments, and took my meds as directed. The kidneys seemed to be getting better in the early part of 2008 under the care of the good doctor at Kaiser Permanente.

Having started the THUNDER work in January 2008, I made some progress, but not enough to satisfy Thomas Lee Hull, as I was not producing the desired results on schedule within budget.

He periodically reminded me of this by visiting me in my cubicle the mornings several times a week. Using his "command" voice (he's retired Navy), he would speak to me and tell me that I was failing to do what he wanted in such a manner that my cubicle mate, Joseph Kieras, thought that he was "yelling" at me.

This constant reminding continued, as he was very anxious about having his THUNDER work done. In the month of May, I was already growing weary, having to drag myself into work in the mornings, stopping every four or five steps to catch my breath coming in from the parking lot. I was concerned enough to make a visit to the doctor's office.

There the doctor had me walk down to get an EKG, and to the lab for blood tests. When he got the results, he sat me down, gave me a couple of aspirin with a Dixie cup of water.

The L.A.County Fire Department Paramedics were called. With lights flashing and siren blaring, they parked facing the wrong way in traffic at the curb in front of the building on Sunset Blvd where the doctor's office is located. The two nice young men strapped me onto their gurney and transported me with lights flashing and siren blaring to the to the other side of Sunset Blvd to the Emergency Room at Kaiser Permanente Hospital.

I spent the night in the hospital for observation. The diagnosis was "Congestive Heart Failure", or CHF. The doctor had me stay home for a whole week.

Upon my returning to work, Thomas Lee Hull greeted me with some questions, making sure that I was not going to die soon (somebody had to do the work). He told me that his schedule had been set back ANOTHER week because of my absence and that I needed to work HARDER and do whatever was necessary to get the study effort back on track and on schedule.

COINCIDENTALLY(??!), my kidney function fell by almost 30% from May to June after the "Congestive Heart Failure" diagnosis and increased pressure from Thomas Lee Hull to get his work back on track.

Maybe a correlation . . . ???


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Last Day at Northrop Grumman

Note: I am preparing a letter for George Haley.

On my last day, Tuesday, June 30, my manager James Lamar came by to see me at approximately 2:15PM, as he was to escort me out of the plant at 3:00PM.

Of course, having never retired before, I did not know of this procedure, and had planned on staying until my normal stop time of 5:30PM.

Imagine the excitement I experienced when he started questioning me on the checklist of things needed to be done prior to my leaving - THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME I had heard of several of the items on this checklist!!

I now understood that I needed to go to "Payroll" for my final check at "Douglas and Mariposa". After visiting the building undergoing renovation and talking with the nice construction worker, and making another phone call, I was told that "Payroll" was actually at "Nash and Mariposa".

Of course, "Payroll" closes early - 3:30PM? Fortunately, the manager works longer hours than the peons - she was the one who processed my final check and got my signature.

At "Payroll", the manager also took my badge. I had planned on turning in my badge to the guard at the end of the day, as Beth Fernandez of F-35 Security said that I could during my de-briefing earlier that day.

What I also noticed on the paperwork was that the request for the final check was made at 2:21PM - just a few minutes earlier - Northrop Grumman does things FAST.

Not having a badge, I hung around the parking lot hoping to see an employee who would escort me back into the building so that I could get my stuff and finalize my departure preparations.

Fortunately, I saw Patricia Moore, who escorted me back into the building. Tony Licausi escorted me out after I had completed at 6:00PM my final departure activities.

George, perhaps Northrop Grumman might want to have a more clearly defined process and procedure for dealing with retirees.

The only thing that I got from the system was "Go over checklist with Manager", which occurred at 2:15PM of my final day, as he expected to escort me out at 3:00PM.

After thirty-four years with Northrop Grumman, I must admit that this seems typical of Northrop Grumman - I am only writing this to make a suggestion for making it "better" for the next retiree.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Northrop is a Good Place to Work??

On the whole, I enjoyed my employment at Northrop Aircraft Company (joined the company Novembe 12, 1975) which later evolved into what we call Northrop Grumman Corporation. I have met a lot of good people, and done a lot of good things.

The legacy pension is good, and the health plan for retirees is excellent. To see how I using the health plan, look to the links at the upper right corner of this page under "MICHAEL'S HEALTH UPDATES".

My family and I have done well by Northrop Grumman. The house is paid for. With some budgeting and frugality, we were able to put the youngest daughter through private school, and then through MIT. She graduated June 2009 with degrees in Course 11 and Course 14, Urban Planning and Studies, and Economics respectively with NO loans or scholarships (no "financial need" shown). She did turn down scholarships from Harvey Mudd school of engineering, UC Regents Scholarship from UCLA and UC Berkeley, Olin School of Engineering. Caltech and Princeton did not offer any financial aid.

My wife and I gave our daughter our blessings and approval to whatever makes her happy, as she has made the most of all of the opportunities that we were able to offer to her.

Thank You, Northrop Grumman, for the job (certainly not a career) and pay that enabled this to happen!

NOW THIS IS THE GOOD PART
"Northrop is a Good Place to Work" was most true when Jack Northrop was walking amongst the emeployees. He created the Northrop Recreation Club (NRC) for the benefit and recreation of the employees. The NRC sponsored the Toastmasters club in January 1953 which I joined in 1978 and of which I am still a member.

Now it is more about "Shareholder Value" and all the other buzz words we hear as motivation for the worker drones.The typical employee is considered nothing more than an employee ID with a associated skill set, totally interchangeable and replaceable in the interests of efficiency and productivity.

Published company documents on "Quality Policy" show that Integrated Systems employees are dedicated to:

* Relentless pursuit of internal and external customer satisfaction

* Integrating total quality into every aspect of our operations to satisfy all stakeholder requirements

* Continuous improvement in our people, processes, technology and products

Similarly there are buzz words on "Environmental Policy" and "Safety and Health Policy".

UNFORTUNATELY, "Northrop Grumman is a good place to work" is NOWHERE to be found.

Management is done through intimidation and humiliation, with fear and shame thrown in. Many of our employees are fearful of their livelihood being taken away from them. The manager is the boss who demands respect from the employees, but gives very little respect, if any, to the employees.

The manager has to be bold and tough, a take-charge person. Let the employee be the humble one. After all, the manger has the title, and all that the employee have are the technical degrees, and years of prior experience. The manager has the certificate to "manage processes".

Despite not knowing as much the the employee might know, the manager will decide the "desired results" BEFORE the work is done, not necessarily right way or wrong way, but done the Northrop Grumman way. After all, through the skillful manipulation of assuptions and inputs, the employee comes up with the necessary "Garbage In" to get the desired "Garbage Out."

The manager will in addition to the desired outcome, decide what methodology to use, along with the budget and schedule.

Sometimes an experienced employee with 20 - 30 years of relevant experience will see the flaws in the approach and methodology, and that it would be near impossible to meet the budget and schedule. If the employee DARES to voice his opinion and not agree completely with the manager, the employee is not a "team player". In extreme cases, the employee will receive a "First Warning" and "Performance Improvement Program" as part of his rehabilitation.

The employee experiences fear and shame of possibly losing his livelihood.

The employee suffers intimidation and humiliation of giving in to the manager's directions and doing what the employee knows to not be right.

This is why new employees fresh out of school are SO VALUABLE - they don't know any better and will always agree with the manager.

What would it be like IF THE EMPLOYEES ARE RESPECTED UP FRONT, and MOTIVATED TO MAINTAIN and NOT LOSE THIS RESPECT?

Too much to imagine.

Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Meeting the Man and Getting Lasered - November 17, 2009

Went to visit the Chief Cardiac Surgeon that Lily saw Novembe 9 when I was in the ER. The good doctor wants to meet the people that he is going to cut into, and not just talk to the wife.

Plan on removal and replacement of aortic valve with a pig valve in late January - no urgency, need to have certain tests done and check things out. This include a neurological exam to make sure the muscle tremors I exhibit is not due to a brain tumor. (Don't want to waste a pig valve.)

Afterwards I went to the opthamologist to have the blood vessels retinas of both eyes lased (yellow laser) to stop bleeding into the eye. Right eye needed more work that the left - flashes of light while wearing a lens attachment on the eyeball (?!)

Results of Consultation with Chief of Surgery Regarding Angiogram

Results of October 13 Angiogram

Diagnoses: (taken from report)

Aortic Valve Regurgitation

CHF (Congestive Heart Failure)

Depression

Diabetes Mellitus Type 2 W/Complications

Essential Hypertension

Anemia

Coronary Artery Disease in Native Artery

Review Committee recommended surgery to replace Aortic Valve with pig valve and procedures to improve blood flow to the heart.

Good News: Operation would have 85% probability of survival.

Bad News: If I did not have the operation, I will die within two years.

Good News: Definite NO BRAINER! I will have the operation when my Peritoneal Dialysis situtation is stabilized, my hemoglobin blood count is increased, and I am stronger.

There is concern that if I wait too long I will not tolerate the surgery.

NOTE: The kidney failure is partly due to the "Diabetes Mellitus Type 2 W/Complications"

The Details - November 9 Visit to Emergency Room

On November 9, Monday morning I had a continuation of weekend vomiting, nausea, cramping/twitching.

Phone call to the Peritoneal Dialysis clinic resulted in a visit to the Emergency Room, my wife Lily being my driver.

Blood Pressure was 70/35 at one point, Blood Urea Nitrogen (BUN) value of 140 (normal range = 7 - 20). Admitted to Kaiser Permanente hospital.

Hemoglobin count 8; normal range 12 - 16.

Phosphorous 10; normal range 2.7 - 4.5.

Treatment: 24 hour a day continuous Peritoneal Dialysis Monday through Saturday.

Relevant test numbers gradually came down from high values, my numbers will never be "normal".

Received many phone calls and visitors.

Flirted with nursing staff, especially the young and pretty nurses. and annoyed the doctors.

Lost 15 pounds on four days liquid diet (ate nothing all day Monday) - Breakfast: herbal tea, broth, Jello cup, fruit juice; Lunch: herbal tea, broth, Jello cup, fruit juice; Dinner: herbal tea, broth, Jello cup, fruit juice. Began solid food Renal Diet at Friday Lunch.

Came home Saturday, November 14 with new instructions. Performing PD exchanges five times a day. Will receive training on PD Cycler on Friday Novemer 20.

Update - November 15, 2009 - Many Things Happening!

Stuff happens!

SIGNIFICANT EVENTS:

July 1 - District ONE is Distinguished, second year in a row. District ONE has not been Distinguished two years in a row since 1989?

July 1 - Retired from Northrop Grumman Corporation after almost 34 years

July 8 - My catheter for Peritoneal Dialysis surgically implanted

August 31 -First day of Peritoneal Dialysis

October 13 - Underwent Angiogram

November 9 - Went to Emergency Room with blood pressure 70/35. Begin 24-hour a day continuous Peritoneal Dialysis treatment.

November 9 - Lily met with Chief Cardiac Surgeon to discuss results of October 13 Angiogram. Good News: 85% chance of surviving recommended. Bad News: if surgery not done, will die within two years.

November 14 - Came home from hospital, now doing five Peritoneal Dialysis exchanges a day.

Will Follow Up with more postings in near future!

Term is Almost Over

This Toastmasters term is almost over ("It's not over until it's over") - come Midnight June 30, 2009 and we are done!

The 2009 - 2010 term starts 12:01 July 1, 2009.

It has been a great ride!