Got Home Today

Got to go home today

Kaiser Permanent has a group of dedicated people who work in the same place, but don't necessarily talk o each other and coordinate things.

The idea of being "discharged" was a good thing for Dr. Sidhu, the man in the turban and beard who liked the idea of being rid of me on Sunday. I don't know what was supposed to be communicated and to whom, but the nursing staff was asking me when I was being discharged. I gave them "1:00PM" as that was the ime that Dr. Sidu's assistance suggested me me. She was nice to me - instead of telling me to "hold your breath" and yanking the wires of the temporary pacemaker out of my chest, she actually CUT the stitches with tiny shart scissors and then removing the wires.

Got printed instructions on new, old and discontinued meds, and how to take care of me for the next six weeks. (keep things clean and dry, watch for signs of infection and heart failure, etc.)

No driving, no heavy lfting (five pounds or more!) for six weeks. no vigorous upper body activity - have to allow the rib cage to heal up which takes weeks.

While napping, sister Kendyl Lyn called - I returned her call.

Also, Esther Germany, Toastmaster friend called from France - at least that what the "country code" show in my Google Voice Mail - Thank You! for the call, Esther - you had some good news!?

Another new adventure is being on Coumadin, (brand name - polite word for warfarin, which is RAT POISON). This being an anticoagulant, I need to be aware of diet, what I am eating/not eating, ANYTHING that will affect my "clotting factors" and having regular blood tests to measure how much my "International Normalized Ratio" (INR) is.

Because of the Pig Valve, I need to watch out for my body's tendancy to react to it and form a clot. A normal person's INR is 1.0. I need to have an INR of 2 to 3.

Because this is done by blood test and we have stairs to go up and down in the house, we asked about the possibility of the phebotomist coming. The nursing staff had asked and found that this was not done. However, the Anti-Coagulant Pharmacist Rick said that this could be arranged!

Going Home Tomorrow (Sunday)

The cardiac doctor with the turban and beard said that I was good to go home on Sunday.

His assistant who came to check my incision (nice job with no ragged edges - Thank You! Dr. Pfeffer!) told me that I would be discharged about 1:00PM after all the paperwork, instructions, and medications are done.

I was told by one of the nurses that the two wires connecting my heart to a temporary pacemaker would be removed on tne day I go home. ("Hold your breath!" and YANK! as there's only a couple of stitches used.)

They try not to keep their patients too many days because they don't want the patient to get sick in the hospital.

They say that I did good.

Tuesday: Got the aortic valve removed and replaced, and two(?) bypass grafts. Went to sleep 7AM and was remember being awake at 7PM, although I'm told that I was in and out earlier Tuesday.

Wedneday: breathing tube removed and able to "talk". Able to "sit" uprightin a chair for total of seven hours (four hours in intensive care, three in intermediate care after chest tubed were taken out - "Hold your breath" YANK!). Moved from 3rd floor intensive care unit room (no bathroom with toilet) to 5th floor intermediate care unit room (got a bathriim with shower and toilet.)

Thursday: Walked up and down the hallway three times; passed on walking Wednesday as I had already seven hours of "sitting".

Friday: Big day for visitors - Bill, Gordon, Donna, Rick, Mom, Lily, Diana, Elizabeth,And Virginia. Smerke called on the phone.

There's cable television that we don't have at home.. Watched the Discovery Channel, National Geographic Channel, AMC, CNN, and the Kaiser educational video on coumadin (polite word for warfarin which is known as a rat poison.) which I will now be taking to prevent blood clots.

Movies and programs included bits and pieces of Alien 2 and Alien 3, The Fugitive, Terminator 2 (I nap in between the bits and pieces that I watch.)

What was really good was "The Night of the Living Dead" where the live people did not refer to the living dead as "Zombies," The final resolution of the zombie problem was the phone call to the U.S. Army phone number stencilled on the storage container containing the original living dead (Secret Project of the U.S. Army) that was mis-delivered to a body parts shop in Louisville, Kentucky.

The U.S. Army simply launched a low-yield tactical nuclear shell that resulted in 4,000 killls over a twenty-square mile area.

Clean and efficient!

Sent from my Peek

Today's Wedneday

Yesterday was the DAY.

Fell asleep before 7:00AM (Teresa gave me a couple pills to "relax" in addition to acid-gas reflux(?) pill plus another of something. Diana says she talked to me as I was falling asleep, AND I don't remember talking to her.

Means that I don't remember ANYTHING between 7 in the morning to 7 Tuesday night when I know I woke up and knew that I did NOT DIE. Good Stuff! People are praying for me from the East Coast to the West Coast and who knows from elsewhere.

I know that I did not die for real becuse the book did not fall out of Norine's bookcase.

I don't remember:

- having IV put into right wrist and left neck .but do know that the two were removed by Maria.

- a tube put my pee-pee to collect my pee but know that Vicky pulled it out after telling me, "take a deep breath!" It hurt!. It also hurts when I pee.

- anything about the operation itself - the evidence I have is pain in chest that hurts when I breath and cough, two tubes coming out of my chest draining bloody fluid and gas, and a BIG bandage on my right leg where Vicky says they took a vein for bypass graft.

I think I had the operation.

I was moved from the ICU to "intermediate" care room because I am doing "well." I feel like I got hit by a bus, hurting all over, can't breathe or cough without pain and discomfort.

I am "doing well" because I can talk and sat upright in a real chair for several hours, as well as not asking for pain meds beyond what give me without asking.

Tomorrow they say that they are going to make me WALK with all these tubes wires hanging off me.

I am in Room 5781 with phone number 323-783-5781, visiting hours 8AM to 8PM with age limit and no colds/influenza.

Sent from my Peek

(Yesterday was) the DAY

Written Tuesday 1/26, ~5:30 AM.

Today is the DAY.

Nothing by mouth after midnight – no food, water, or meds –nothing.

Woke up at 4:00AM.

Took a shower with the scrub soap as a pre-operation preparation.

Lily and Diana brought me to Kaiser to check-in at 5:20 and will stand by until I come out of surgery, approximately 1:00 – 1:30PM.

I will be put "asleep" at 7:00AM, and won't wake up fully until Wednesday, being in and out of it (consciousness) today (Tuesday) after coming out of surgery.

This blog entry is being emailed for me by Diana, who also writes:

He has survived surgery and is in ICU. Miraculously, he is also sitting up. The breathing tube has been removed from his throat, too, so his recovery is going very well!
--
Diana M. Jue, MIT '11
MCP, Department of Urban Studies and Planning
International Development Group
dmjue@mit.edu
(626) 616-9238

One More Day

Tomorrow morning will be IT - open heart surgery to replace an aortic valve and double/triple bypass.

I have been assured that I will "go to sleep" and "wake up" after its all done with no memory of the surgery. Might be better to have no memory of what happens, and not know what the surgeons actually say about the patient.

Had blood (four vials) and urine tested, chest x-rays (back and side), filled out paperwork for admission - just need to sign in at 5:15A.M. tomorrow morning.

I will be made to sleep at 7:00A.M., and should be done by 1:00P.M. or 1:30P.M. Then I will be drifting in and out of consciousness the rest of the day and fully awake Wednesday.

Probably will be in Intensive Care for one or two days, followed by intermediate care for five to eight days, and then home for three to six weeks of recovery.

Talked with the anesthesiologist who answered questions.

Daughter Diana will send out an email after I come out of surgery.

Two More Days

In two days I will have heart surgery for aortic valve replacement and double/triple bypass.

While I have no problems with dying (everybody dies, see "Memento Mori") what has me concerned is the uncertainty involved - statistically this procedure has 85% survival rate.

That is, if I were to have this procedure done 100 times I would die 15 times "on average".

(This means statistically if an increasingly large number of batches of 100 procedures were to be done, the average number of times of dying in 100 procedures would converge to 15 as the number of batches gets larger.)

On the other hand, there's the certainty of being dead in two years if I do not have the procedure done - it's a no-brainer as far as making the decision to have or not-have the surgery.

After surviving and recovering from surgery I plan on having my ear pierced as a symbol of surviving a life-threatening situation..

(This comes from the sailor's tradition of ear-piercing if he were to survive a shipwreck, along with other things such as crossing the equator for the first time, or to ensure a Christian burial if his body washes ashore after a shipwreck.)

Instead of black pearl, I had made an earring with a two carat canary-yellow simulated diamond in a bevel setting (sits lower on the ear lobe), and will probably go to Old Towne Pasadena to a tattoo and body piercing shop that I found on Yelp for the ear piercing.

Diana will have her ears pierced. We will do this in May when she comes back from school.

Sent from my Peek

edited 3:34PM Sunday, January 24, 2010

"Stifling" - Why I Do It?

I previously wrote that I was writing this blog for my health. The full article on "stifling" can be found here.

Like all good husbands in the world, I listen to my wife.

She told me not to COMPLAIN, i.e., say something is the not right more than once. She does not want it repeated.

So I did not say anything when my health was deteriorating - that would be complaining, as my health was deteriorating over more than one day and the complaint would have been "repeated".

I did not say anything about my situation at Northrop Grumman - that would be complaining, as it was a continuous situation over many months and thus "repeated".

I was doing my best not to complain, me being the good husband who listens to his wife who does not want to hear repeated complaints from her husband.

OF COURSE, she tells me that I am STUPID because I did not do what employees at the Bank of America do in situations that they do not like - go on "disability" and still be paid for not working because of poor health and bad work conditions.

I am not of the high moral fiber as that of the typical Bank of America employee. Ken Lewis is an excellent example of a Bank of America employee.

The woman does NOT want to hear me complain.

As I am not a "manly man", I am prone to complaining - pissing and moaning like a woman, I guess.

My wife Lily tells me that I am "too sensitive", and that I should be more like her friend's husband, Addison (cute name).

When Susan tells Addison that he is "totally worthless", Addison (it is reported), will just "laugh it off" like a manly man.

"Ha! Ha! Hah! What, Woman?! You call me TOTALLY WORTHLESS?! Ha! Ha! Hah!"

I, Michael Jue, am not a "manly man" as Addison, and am NOT able to "laugh it off" as he does.

My COMPLAINT was that I didn't like being told that I was "totally worthless" by my wife. I just don't like it. I am too "sensitive".

Of course, she is TOTALLY JUSTIFIED, as I do not give her enough money, and what little money I give her, it is not given fast enough. Thus, I am "totally worthless" to my wife, Lily.

Another time, I was complaining that the air conditioning was not turned high enough in the car while travelling to San Francisco in the San Joaquin valley heat one summer. As the girls and she get cold more easily than I get hot, her solution to my complaint was a single word, "SUFFER!"

I have learned not to complain.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Not All Former Military Pilots Are the Same

Previously I had written about the former military folks at Northrop Grumman.

Nowadays they are hired because they "walk the walk" and "talk the talk" of our military customers and Northrop Grumman management needs and wants to have some kind of rapport with the customer.

Some of these pilot-types are really smart guys. Corey Moore, who is now Sector Vice President, Advanced Concepts and Integrated Solutions at Northrop Grumman Corporate Headquarters is an example. He was in the Systems Analysis group in the 1980's. As a F-18 pilot he wanted to be home more with his family.

Corey Moore even had some exposure to the THUNDER campaign model. He was SO SMART that he realized that didn't want to do the type of analysis that we were trying to do. He left Systems Analysis and went on to bigger and better things. Now he gets to move to Virginia.

John Haberbush is another smart guy. He's was also a F-18 pilot working in Systems Analysis at the same time as Corey Moore. John also had some experience with the THUNDER campaign model, and came up with two very smart sayings about analysis:

"If it looks easy, it's hard to do."

"If it looks hard, it's impossible to do."

John Haberbush was smart enough to get a job as an airline pilot and left Northrop Grumman.

There are other pilot-types at Northrop Grumman who were good at being pilots but perhaps not too good at anything else but "walking the walk" and "talking the talk" with the customer and building Powerpoint charts for the customer to look at.

For example, there is currently a "Program Manager" at Northrop Grumman (name not disclosed) who came to Northrop Grumman as a retired USAF colonel. He started out in Systems Analysis years ago. He sounded good, and looked good. Somewhat smart guy who was working on a fuel allocation problem and was able to boil it down to a mathematical description having six variables whose relationships were defined by five equations, all of which he was able to figure out. Smart guy!

Good start, but he was totally confused as to why he could not come up with a "unique" solution to his fuel allocation problem. Most mathematicians will tell you that to solve for an unique solution for six variables, you need to have six equations - he had only five equations.

He would NOT believe that six equations were needed instead of the five equations that he had, and would NOT believe the concept of there being an INFINITE family of solutions (values for the six variables) that would satisfy the five equations.

Conrad Batchelder in the next cubicle overhead the discussion and came over with his Hewlett Packard HP-15C calculator and SHOWED him two sets of values for the six variables that satisfied the five equations.

The retired USAF colonel left the cubicle shaking his head, staring at the sheet of paper that Conrad had prepared for him.

I still don't know if he believed the idea that he needed six equations to get an unique solution for the six variables.

Today he is a unnamed "Program Manager" at Northrop Grumman.

No, he is not Thomas Lee Hull.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Got a Date with the Surgeon

Pat from Cardiac Surgery called.

My date for surgery is January 26, and I get to check-in on the 25th.

This will be done at Kaiser Hospital on Sunset Blvd.

Am I the ONLY One? Don't Think So . . .

I came across a couple of web sites that may or may not be of interest to Northrop Grumman employees. What's really interesting is that the comments cover all parts of Northrop Grumman, and not just one sector.

Northrop Grumman management will find nothing interesting because THEY DON'T CARE what the employees think and feel as long as they get what they want from the employees.

The first web site is Jobvent.com. By the name, you would expect to hear from employees who are "venting" about their jobs. Take a look at

Working at Northrop Grumman — Reviews by Employees

Here's a sample: "Northrop is a company moving backwards. Despite some of their technical achievements they treatment of their people is horrific. They burn their people out, and are becoming more and more inflexible..."

The second web site is Indeed.com. They ask the question, "What is the company culture at Northrop Grumman?"

On this forum, we hear both the good and the bad. Some employees are OK with the company culture, others are not OK.

Here are samples:

"My team has a lot of fun during the day, but we also get work done. We plan lunches and things, and no one views it as a lack of things to do. My boss is great, very professional, but also jokes around with us."

"It's a great place to work if you're single, don't have a family, and don't care if you have a life. If you value family, health, personal time, and/or community involvement I would suggest looking elsewhere."

See What's the company culture at Northrop Grumman?


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

As Good as It's Going to Get

"As good as it's going to get."

That's what the kidney doctor basically said - my test results (ELEVEN vials of blood were taken out of my arm on Tuesday!) showed that the numbers that they were looking to go up - hemoglobin and protein levelss - have gone up and are in their respective "normal" range.

Many of the other numbers are within the desired range for dialysis patient.

There were some adjustments to meds to handle the numbers that were not within normal range. A couple of new prescriptions were written and picked up at the pharmacy.

It's a "GO" for heart surgery. We will call the cardiology group on Monday to get things going.

I now understand that we want to have my heart surgery preferably before the end of January before Diana goes back to school so that she can see me come out of surgery successfully.

More on Wes Bush

Two day ago I posted about Northrop Grumman corporate headquarters moving to the "Virginia area". Northrop Grumman management is so smart that I don't understand how or why management makes the decisions that it makes.

Looks like Wes Bush wants to change the culture at Northrop Grumman. The "dead weight" (deadwood and dog meat? this is a memorable quotation from a Electronics Division Vice-President many years ago regarding "reduction of the work force") executives at the higher levels will not be asked to move with the rest of the corporate headquarters to the "Virginia area".

See this L.A. Times article New Northrop Grumman CEO Wesley Bush shows why he got the job.

Kent Kresa and Ron Sugar are described as sentimental for wanting the corporate headquarters in Southern California because of their being homeboys. Wes Bush, on the other hand, has no such sentiments and would move the corporate headquarters to Nome, Alaska if his key customers were the Eskimos.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Not Everybody at Northrop Grumman Knows This

I was talking to somebody at Northrop Grumman this morning and mentioned that I saw the article in the L.A. Times regarding Northrop Grumman's headquarters moving to the "Virginia area". He had not heard about this news at all, but said that he was pretty busy at work this morning.

Wesley Bush made this move announcement on his first day on the job as chief operating officer and President, taking over for Ron Sugar effective January 1, 2010. The L.A. Times had this quotation:

"This is an important move for the company, and it's one that we believe will improve the effectiveness in serving the nation and our customers," Bush said in his first public statement as the company's chief executive. "The proximity to Washington enables us to be a more integrated part of the federal process."

However, I also notice that Wes Bush is a native of West Virginia, and went to school in Massachusetts for both his Bachelor and Master degrees in electrical engineering from MIT. Smart guy. He likes the East Coast.

Wes Bush doesn't waste any time.

Ron Sugar, on the other hand, was born in Hawthorne, and went to school at UCLA. Local boy. Ron Sugar didn't want to move the headquarters to the "Virginia area"; he thought it was fine where it was in Century City.

Wes Bush, the East Coast boy, thought that Northrop Grumman would improve its "effectiveness" if its headquarters were to be physically closer to the federal process in Washington.

Hasn't he heard of the telephone, and airplanes? Distances are not what they used to be when people had to walk for days in order to visit and communicate with other people.

Does this mean that Northrop Grumman has previously been "ineffective" in serving its customers because of the geographic distance between Los Angeles and Washington?

Ron Sugar didn't seem to have a problem with the physical distance between Century City and Washington, but of course, he's a local boy.

Wes Bus does have a problem with the physical distance, but of course, he's from the East Coast and has the degrees from MIT.

They are moving only the corporate headquarters (that's where Wes Bush goes to work).

Evidently the physical proximity of the corporate headquarter will increase Northrop Grumman "effectivess" to its customers. The other parts of the company that CREATES the products for the customers evidently don't need to be in close proximity to the customer and federal process. The research, development, and manufacturing parts of the companyare going to stay in Southern California where it will be more effective after the corporate headquarters moves to be physically closer to Washington and the federal process.

I don't understand.

As I have told many fellow employees at Northrop Grumman, manaagement is VERY VERY SMART, and I am not smart enough to understand the hows and whys of Northrop Grumman management decision making process. This is just another example of Northrop Grumman management being smarter than I am.

I thought that it was because Wes Bush is an East Coast kind of guy, and just wants to go back home where he grew up. Shows how much I know.

Here are some links:

Northrop Grumman Corp. headquarters moving to Washington, D.C., area (L.A. Times, Sunday, January 4, 2010)

Northrop Grumman moving headquarters from L.A. to Washington, D.C., area (L.A. Times, Monday, January 5, 2010)

Northrop Grumman to keep many jobs in California

Northrop move worsens Southern California's Fortune-500 brain drain


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Happy New Year!

This is the beginning of a new year.

The only resolution I made this year is to survive the year in relatively good health.

We all hope for the best (at least better than last year). However, we need to prepare for the worse (my new email signature includes the quotation from Sun Tzu , "To rely on rustics and not prepare is the greatest of crimes; to be prepared beforehand for any contingency is the greatest of virtues.")

What normally happens though, is that things comes out somewhere in between the two extremes - thus by preparing for the worst and hoping for the best we are both delighted and disappointed. This is OK.

I have these things to look forward to this year:

1) Continued improvement to my health, including increase in hemoglobin count, and protein levels, and continued good results with dialysis.

2) Elizabeth's Birthday Party later this month, and Diana leaving to go back to school after a nice visit home.

3) Given my improved health, we are planning to have to have heart surgery after Elizabeth's birthday and Diana's departure, and not before.

4) Survive this surgery without dying.

5) Given my surviving this surgery (remove and replace aortic valve with pig valve, handle two partially blocked arteries), recover from the heart surgery which take a nominal three to six weeks.

4) Rehabilitation and regaining some semblance of a "normal" life in relatively good health.

These things might not seem like much to the ordinary person, but are a big deal to me.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

December 30, 2009 Health Update

The plan is for my surgery to be done in the latter part of January, after Elizabeth's birthday party, and after Diana's going back to school.

By then, the doctors expect my hemoglobin count to be at or above "normal" (it was slightly below normal when last tested), and my protein level (measured as blood albumin) to be "normal". My procrit (hormone that tells my bone marrow to make hemoglobin) dosage was increased from 4500 units twice a week to 5500 units twice a week, and I am continuing the protein supplement (30 grams of protein = 5 scoops of Beneprotein in a fruit smoothie) every night.

The surgery is to remove and replace the aortic valve in my heart with a pig valve. While they have my chest open and heart stopped, they will also handle a couple of partially blocked arteries while they are in there (kind of like your mechanic doing the main bearings on your car engine at the same time as the valve job since the engine is torn down anyways).

Because of the difficulty of opening up and working with a beating heart, the surgical team will necessarily stop my heart in order to do the work on it. This will be done through the miracle of Cardiopulmonary Bypass (CPB).

NOTICE that I did not write that the surgical team will kill me dead. They are only going to make my heart stop beating and me stop breathing.

The question, then, is this: since I am not breathing and have no beating heart, will I be "dead"?

I had this discussion with several people - will I remember being "dead"? At our family Christmas Eve dinner I told my niece, Noreen, that when I am "dead" that I would communicate with her. We agreed that I would cause one of her books ("The Lovely Bones") to fall out of her book shelf.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

War-fighters and peace-time pilots don't like Jane

Recently I wrote about the war-fighters and peace-time pilots at Northrop Grumman.

What I noticed was that these guys have a certain antipathy towards Jane Fonda.

What P*SSES these guys off are these photos from 1972 taken of Jane Fonda during her visit to North Vietnam. These guys know what it is to be shot at, they know guys who were shot down and killed, who were shot down and spent time in POW camp. They don't like the idea of Jane Fonda being friendly to those who would do pilots harm.

There has been much written about Jane Fonda on the internet - see what snopes.com has to say about Jane Fonda. Snopes.com actually investigated who said what.

In 1999, when Barbara Walters honored Jane Fonda as one of the '100 Women of the Century,' there was a big fuss.

Friends and relatives of POWs who had spent time as guests of the North Vietnamese thought that Jane Fonda was unworthy of such an honor, and that people should be reminded, because in their words, "This is for all the kids born in the 70's who do not remember, and didn't have to bear the burden that our fathers, mothers and older brothers and sisters had to bear."

They started up that email that is still being circulated today with the subject line "Never Forgive a Traitor". Read what people had to say.

The POW Network has a lot to say about Jane Fonda, not much of which is flattering.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Warfighters at Northrop

First, I will state that I have only admiration and gratitude for those in our military, past and present. The following might seem trite - I believe it to be very true: "We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm." Our military is trained by our government to kill people and break things on our behalf using the very best technology that a lowest-bid contractor can provide.

When I started working at Northrop Aircraft Company in 1978, there were a number of warfighters in the Systems Analysis Group.

At that time, Northrop had in its employ a number of pilots from World War II, Korean War and Viet Nam War to form the Operational Analysis group. The idea was to have a bunch of guys who actually were in war time situations and knew exactly how air commanders would deploy aircraft and pilots in battle. This made the "what if" analysis more plausible, and the analysis would stand up to the scrutiny of those who were veterans of those wars.

This is in contrast to what has been done recently, where the analysis is done with some computer model that the war-fighters would not understand, and the person running the model is some twenty-two year college graduate who never seen the inside of a war plane. Sometimes we will have the situation where the young analyst gets to decide how the war is to be fought, how many and what aircraft are to be deployed, etc. without consultation with a war-fighter types who would otherwise offer a "sanity check".

I talked to these war-fighters as the new young guy with the idea of learning what it was like to have fought in a war where people were trying to kill you while you were trying to kill them, or doing your best to avoid being killed.

What I remember the most about the war-fighters was how I was impressed with the sense of humility of the typical war-fighter. I got that they knew that better men than they had died and not survived the war. Sometimes it was a matter of luck that determines if one lived or died. There was no rhyme or reason as to who died and who lived. There were also accidents that would kill them just as dead.

Then there are the peace-time Air Force and Navy pilots who have been hired by Northrop Grumman because they can "walk the walk" and "talk the talk" when they are dealing to the Air Force or Navy customer. The peace-time pilots have only fired weapons as part of training and proficiency exercises, and not to intentionally kill. There's only the possibility that they have accidentally killed somebody.

The life-or-death situations these peace-time pilots face usually involve somebody being stupid, careless, or negligent - these things will get a pilot killed just as dead. In my opinion, this is different than the situation where the enemy is trying to kill you while you are trying to kill them, or trying your best to avoid being killed.

However, I don't always get that sense of humility that I had found in the war-fighter in these peace-time pilots. This is not a knock on the peace-time pilots, it is what it is.

In either case, Northrop Aircraft Company and later Northrop Grumman Corporation has had its war-fighters and peace-time pilots.

What they all have in common is their willingness to risk life and limb in the performance of their work during their service with the government. We all should be thankful to them for this.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

I have no sense of humor?

This is one of my most vivid memories of my employment at Northrop Grumman.

It happened when we were in Pico Rivera in Building 216. Systems Analysis was part of the Advanced Technology and Development Center (ATDC).

We were out in the large unclassified bay where various groups had their cubicles. Along one wall was the managers' offices, as they had a real office with a door that opens and closes. Ordinary employees enjoy the open to the world airiness of two-person cubicles with partitions that came up to nose-level on many people. Not too much privacy ion these cubicles. There were perhaps 60 - 80 people in this bay.

David Rausch was telling a joke with this set-up line, "How do you revitalize the city of Los Angeles?"

David Rausch's punch was, "By dropping an atomic bomb on South Central Los Angeles."

(Laughter???!)

As I do not have a sense of humor, I was clueless why David Rausch thought that this was so funny. I had to ask, "Why is that funny?"

David Rausch was evidently insulted to have somebody ask for an explanation of why his joke is funny.

I went on in the discussion of why his joke was funny. Is it because only Blacks and Latinos live in South Central Los Angeles? Why would THAT make the joke funny?

Is the idea of extra-crisp "crispy critters" what makes this joke so funny? Atomic bomb explosion temperatures reaching 7000 degrees Fahrenheit in 0.1 milliseconds would produce "crispy critters" almost instantly, if they are not close enough to be vaporized.

David Rausch obviously did NOT want to discuss the humor of his joke. He drew himself to his full height (he's well over six-feet tall, and I am just a little Asian guy seated in a chair) and shouted, "Drop it! It's just a joke - drop it!"

At first, I wanted to continued the discussion, so David Rausch again repeated, "Drop it! It's just a joke - drop it!"

By this time, I noticed that the entire bay got real quiet - none of the normal chatter, etc. that one would normally hear.

I got real quiet myself. I was thinking that David Rausch was going to TEAR MY HEAD OFF, or do other GREAT BODILY HARM to me.

I was also noticing that I did not like 1) getting shouted down by a big angry white guy, and 2) being physically intimidated by a big angry white guy standing at his full height towering over me in my seated position - you do not want David Rausch to get angry at you, as Ron Cote advised me, "He's a big guy." I would also add that that David Rausch is a VERY UGLY person when he is angry at you and is shouting you down.

As I am of such a sensitive nature, I let this episode upset me in such a manner that was noticeable to others in our group, so much that somebody reported this to our manager, Randy Yates.

Like any good manager, Randy Yates wanted to head off any potential conflicts between personnel in his group. He called both David Rausch and me into his office for a clear-the-air talk.

David Rausch apologized for losing his temper.

I apologized for not having a sense of humor. Smile-while-you-eat-shit. Go along to get along. Be a "team member".

NOTHING was said about the inappropriateness of this joke in the work environment.

NOTHING was said about the relative value of the lives of our Black and Latino citizens residing in South Central Los Angeles.

Being the type of person that he is, David Rausch pretended that I was the invisible man whenever we were in the same vicinity - he would LOOK RIGHT THROUGH ME as if I did not exist, let alone speak to me.

Of course, whenever he NEEDED something from me, he would speak to me as if he was a normal human being.

Being a survivor ("Smile when you have to eat sh*t." Go along to get along. Be a team player.) I would pretend that I did not notice David Rausch had given me the invisible man treatment, and very polite provide him with whatever he needed.

Mike Petka, who was working at Northrop Grumman at that time, and who is a white guy, thought that while dropping an atomic bomb on South Central Los Angeles might be a good thing, thought that an atomic bomb on Dana Point would not be a good thing.;

The Black people I asked about the humor of this joke did not give me a response. They would just shake their heads for some reason.

Romeo Allen was one Black guy at Northrop Grumman at that time who did not give me an answer, but told me of his encounter with a white Sheriff's Deputy who had an odd sense of humor. The Sheriff's Deputy stuck the MUZZLE of his shotgun into Romeo's mouth, evidently thinking that the potential of blowing a good portion of Romeo's head off into bits of bone, flesh, and brain tissue to be funny.

My youngest daughter who was nine-years old at that time, understood what an atomic bomb was. She did not think that this joke was very funny, and in fact, seemed to be distressed about an atomic bomb being dropped on any part of Los Angeles, as we live in Los Angeles.

My sister-in-law's two brothers, being very polite Chinese guys, at first pretended to laugh at the joke, but agreed that it was not a funny thing at all.

In summary, these white guys got one funny sense of humor that I STILL don't get, and many other people don't get.

I hope that NONE of our Black and Latino Northrop Grumman employees reading this gets the wrong idea about the white guys at Northrop Grumman.


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

Nightmare for New Employees?

Recently I recounted my nightmare of working at Northrop Grumman and having no desk, chair or phone. It was just a bad dream.

However, it was not just a bad dream for three young men who were hired by the Systems Analysis group at Northrop Grumman a few years ago. They were young guys not long out of school: Justin Smith, Arthur Hutchinson, and Eric Gardenhire.

I am certain that Northrop Grumman management went through a process of some sort in hiring these three guys: certain decisions were decided, budget money budgeted, analysis work anticipated, staffing arrangements arranged etc. prior to their arrival.

What was really interesting then was that the day they came to our group (they all started on the same day) was that they had 1) no desk at which to sit; 2) no chair on which to sit; 3) no phone/phone number of their own to use; and 4) no computer to use.

They had my nightmare.

They had the honor and privilege of floating around, landing at any desk that happened to be vacant that day. Someone would be the recipient of their phone calls, as they did not have their own phone number to give out.

Jason Pfefferkorn and I made it a point to give to each one of them their own pad of paper and two sharpened no. 2 pencils. We did our best to make them feel welcomed.

By the way, not one of these three young men are at Northrop Grumman today.

Perhaps they went somewhere else without the nightmare?


Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.

My Nightmare Last Night

I had a nightmare last night.

I dreamt that I was working at Northrop Grumman for some reason, and that the group had moved and thus things were in packing boxes and in general disarray.

What was really scary was that in this nightmare I was working with James Lamar. When I asked him about my getting a desk, chair, and phone, he just smirked and did his best to withhold his laughter.

Randy Yates made an appearance. When I asked him about the desk, chair, and phone, I got the same smirk and withholding of laughter.

I remember saying, "Just tell me, 'yes' or 'no' - I will sit in the lobby where there is open space for me to sit". I was not complaining about not having a desk, chair, or phone.

That was one nightmare!



Disclaimer: SORRY - This is only what I know from my point of view. No lies, just what I see as the truth.